Thin as Water
by Seigetsu Ren
Summary: "She doesn't deserve you." - they all say about Yukina when she rejects Lisa's confession. Lisa never intended for things to turn out this way, and the last thing she wants is for their friendship to be ruined too.


**AN:** _(Cross-posted on AO3)_

This is a fic about Lisa getting rejected by Yukina and learning from the experience. The endgame is YukiSayo, not YukiLisa. I don't think there is really a "moral of the story" here, but it can read as such. None of the actions of any character (including Papa and Mama Imai) are necessarily 100% correct (IMO no such thing even exists in life), but reflects different perspectives about the topic discussed.

The title of this fic comes from the saying: 君子の交わりは淡きこと水の如し (kunshi no majiwari wa awakikoto mizu no gotoshi). It is referenced in the text of the fic so I won't explain in detail here.

If you are looking for pure YukiLisa fluff this is not the fic to read. You have been warned.

**Tags: **unrequited love, imbalanced friendship and unintended consequences, poor communication and misunderstanding, Lisa's parents try to teach life lessons, happy ending

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**Thin as Water**

There is an expectation in this world that you give back what you take. Nothing is free. Even when you never asked for an offering, you still have to repay the debt.

Therefore, everyone expected Yukina to accept Lisa's confession. Lisa had, after all, dedicated years to following Yukina, staying by her side even when the latter pushed her away, always the loyal friend who accepted all her flaws and smoothed out her often tense relationships with others due to her blunt, somewhat inconsiderate personality. Lisa was a kind, loving person who had done so much for her – there was no reason for Yukina not to love her in return. The least she could do was to give Lisa a chance. How could she know a relationship wouldn't work out before even trying?

Although no one said it straight in Yukina's face, there was the impression that Yukina was "selfish" to reject Lisa. Privately, Lisa had apologized for putting Yukina in a hot seat like that. She hadn't even wanted her confession to be broadcasted out to their sphere of friends and family, but it leaked out somehow, and she was regretful. She loved Yukina after all. She might've been upset by the rejection, but it had never been her intention to blame Yukina for it, least of all to shame her.

"She doesn't deserve you," a classmate once said to Lisa in an attempt to comfort her over the rejection. It brought no such comfort – only added to her guilt.

"Please don't say that. She is still my friend. I treasure her."

"Imai-san is too nice."

She wasn't being too nice. She had wanted a change in their relationship, but whether successful or not, she had not wanted to give up on what she already had with Yukina. But with this incident, Yukina had distanced herself from Lisa. It hurt. Lisa couldn't stop worrying about Yukina – what would happen now that Lisa wasn't there to make sure she didn't revert back to her silently suffering self? Why couldn't others, why couldn't Yukina herself, understand that Lisa had been doing everything out of her own volition, that she was content just seeing Yukina smile - it was reward enough for her? She never thought to coerce Yukina into starting a romantic relationship with her, but that was what seemingly happened.

_Lisa: Umm…Yukina, are you doing okay lately?_

_Yukina: Yes._

_Lisa: I'm sorry for everything._

_Yukina: You have already apologized before._

_Yukina: It is unnecessary. I do not see how you may have wronged me._

Lisa stared at the texts. Yukina wouldn't tell her anything anymore. Roselia was on hiatus – for studying for college entrance exams was the excuse, but Lisa knew it was because of her incident. Not only had she put undue pressure onto Yukina, she was also causing trouble to the rest of Roselia. Especially Sayo, if she had to admit. She knew Sayo had been on the brink of confessing to Yukina herself – it had been what driven Lisa to confessing first in hopes that Yukina would choose her. The more she thought about it, the more she hated herself for the decision. Yukina would've been better off with Sayo anyway. She should've prioritized Yukina's happiness over her own.

There must be something she could do to make things right again. She sought out Sayo, who seemed rather reluctant to meet her until the one time they ran into each other at a family restaurant. "Ran into each other" might've been a lie – Lisa had asked Hina's help in locating her.

"Sayo, it's been a while."

"Yes. I apologize for declining your offer to meet. I appreciate your invitation, but I have been quite busy lately."

"I understand."

The formalities were so awkward. Lisa couldn't help but think that she had destroyed all the bonds between the Roselia members out of her own selfishness. Still, she had to ask about Yukina. She wondered if Sayo had been seeing Yukina lately – though they were in the same class and they still lived next door to each other, Lisa had hardly talked to Yukina at all the past weeks.

"Minato-san?" Sayo muttered in response to Lisa's question. "I hadn't met up too frequently with her outside of studying together for our entrance exams. She seems to be fine from our interactions."

"I see. She's not…sad or anything?"

Sayo furrowed her eyebrows. "Over rejecting your confession? It is funny you ask. Were you not the one who had been rejected? One would think you are the one depressed."

"I mean…I can't say I'm happy or anything…" Lisa said with a fake chuckle. "But I brought it upon myself. Yukina just got towed into all this drama. I'm worried."

"Then are you asking out of guilt for what you perceive as your fault, or out of worry for a friend?"

"Does it matter?" – and was it any business of Sayo's? Sure, Lisa had sought Sayo out to talk about this, but it wasn't to be questioned by Sayo. She just needed Sayo's help. She was trying to put things back into its original course.

"If you are feeling guilty, then forget it. If there is anything you should feel guilty about, it is not confessing to Minato-san, but the insistence with which you offer your kindness. If you are asking out of worry for Minato-san, then I would ask you not to worry, for Minato-san is strong, and I also believe you should have trust in her that should she be feeling as pained as you perceive, she would seek the help she needs from those around her. It ties back to your insistent kindness. Do you not realize that it is not just you who worries for your friends, but we would worry for you in return? Please invest more time on your self-care."

With that, Sayo raised from her seat. "Please excuse me. I must catch up with Hina now. She has been waiting a while."

Sayo was running away, and Lisa had accomplished nothing she set out to do. Like everybody else, Sayo just assumed Lisa was making self-sacrifices. She wasn't. _This_ was how she cared for herself – caring for others made her warm and happy, that was all.

"You do not have to worry about me, because believe it or not, I know exactly what I'm doing and it is what I _want_ to do. Can you say the same for yourself, Sayo? Are you holding back your own confession for Yukina out of consideration for my feelings?"

Sayo stopped. For a moment, she did not speak. Then, she turned a slight bit and her voice took on a harder quality than before. "I admit I do plan on confessing to Minato-san, but when I do this and how I come to that decision are not of your concern, Imai-san. Minato-san, you, and I are equals. Please do not patronize us so."

Lisa went home feeling worse than before. Why did it seem all her best intentions always backfired on her? Sayo and Yukina and she were equals, of course. She never thought lesser of them. Where did Sayo get the impression? Did her "kindness" to them really seem so patronizing? Had it always been unwanted? No, she was going too far in that assessment – Yukina had said she appreciated Lisa's kindness and Yukina wasn't one to lie. Then why? She couldn't understand at all.

"Lisa, stop making that face while eating dinner." Lisa's father snapped at her that night. "You know how many people are starving in this world? Be more grateful with what you have."

"Shou-san…" Lisa's mother hushed at him.

"What? It is true. I wouldn't be saying this if she just made a long face for a day or two, but she has been doing it for weeks." He then turned towards Lisa again. "You are no longer a child. You are eighteen, and with the changes in the legislations these days, you can vote for the future of this country. That is a great responsibility, more responsibility than bearing the consequences for a silly confession on your puppy love."

"Please, Dear, let me handle this."

"You pamper her too much, that is why she is like this. I already didn't say anything when she shoved her head into the Minato's family business. Their father and daughter had some issues with each other – what does that have to do with us? You know how awkward it was for Ryuunosuke when she joined Yukina-chan's band that was formed over trying to get Ryuunosuke to perform again? Or do you think Ryuunosuke hadn't figured that out?" He sighed at Lisa. "You young people never think about the consequences of your own actions. Ever heard of the saying _kunshi no majiwari wa awakikoto mizu no gotoshi_? Friendships that are thin as water are what can last the longest. People have boundaries – you need to respect them. You cross those boundaries, the relationship changes, not always for the better, and you must have the conviction for dealing with the fallout."

"That's what I'm trying to do!" Lisa shouted. She hated the tears that started falling from her eyes. "But…but I don't know what to do…"

"Stepping back from the boundaries, of course. For whose sake do you think I went and told Ryuunosuke we'll be taking a family vacation this Christmas so we can't join their party?" He finally lowered his voice, standing to leave the table. He put a hand on Lisa's shoulder. "I am not trying to blame you here. I'm trying to teach you. Things ain't black and white in this world, especially human relationships. You can't fit them into neat little boxes. You can't draw generalizations for what would work, what wouldn't, and certainly you can't expect the more you invest, the better things would turn out. Try to think more about it alone. You're at an age now that you need to appreciate nuances."

Lisa remained seated. She hadn't cried like this since a kid. She had tried so hard, for Yukina, for her friends, but now it all seemed to be fruitless. She just wanted everybody to be happy – why was it so hard? Why did she have to step back from caring about people she loved? She loved the closeness in human relationships. She didn't want this "water-thin" relationship her father described.

"This is so cruel…" she muttered.

Her mother held her. "It is."

"Is it really wrong to love someone?"

"Of course not. It is how you love that matters."

"How?" Lisa looked up to her mother.

"Love is not giving what you perceive to be the best thing to another, it is giving what that person thinks they need the most. Sometimes, what they need is distance. Sometimes, what they need is closeness – only then, when you step forward, would you do the most for them."

Lisa nodded. She could accept this explanation, but perhaps she truly was selfish. Others might perceive her as self-sacrificing, but she wasn't without ulterior motive.

"What…what about what I need?" she asked.

"We all need so many things in life no one person can provide it all to us. If you have developed good relationships with many people, they will each give you a piece of what you need – for the rest, you must seek it yourself."

Different people for her different needs. She had devoted too much of her feelings to Yukina alone. She had based her worth on Yukina's happiness. It was proof of her love – she had thought. Maybe she had been wrong.

She had liked doing her nails. She had enjoyed going out for karaoke with her friends. Her part-time job gave her many experiences with people of all walks and she found a sense of achievement with her work. Those were all things she had valued but had put to the back of her mind out of priority for Yukina. How could Yukina substitute all that? It was silly. She couldn't – that must be one of the reasons why she had turned Lisa down, and why everything took such a messy turn thereafter.

"I will try to love myself more," Lisa said. Her mother smiled, brushing a hand through her hair.

…

Come spring, Lisa had her partings with people, with them meetings anew. But there were also those whom she never parted from. Things just changed, things just matured, and from it all she got to know them and herself better.

_Yukina: Lisa, is Tuesday good for you to come visit our new place?_

_Lisa: You just want me to help you unpack boxes, right?_

_Yukina: You think Sayo is the type of person to keep boxes unpacked?_

_Lisa: Guess not._

Yukina had started dating Sayo two months ago and they were now roommates – it was convenient seeing as they went to the same university. Lisa would never have guessed Yukina to be the one to initiate their relationship. Sayo was right. Maybe she really had patronized Yukina for a long time. She had always known what she wanted in her own life better than anyone else and was strong enough to pursue it without Lisa guiding her by the hand.

It wasn't that Yukina would never need her though, nor could Lisa step away from Yukina and everybody else and still be happy alone. There might've been one time when Yukina got into an argument with Sayo and came to her for advice. She was happy to feel needed like that, and happier still to have helped Yukina learn where the problem lay so she could resolve it on her own.

_Yukina: So? Tuesday?_

_Lisa: Yes, I can make it._

_Lisa: Oh, and can we plan a session with the rest of old Roselia sometime soon too? I've been itching to play these days._

_Yukina: I'll get back to you on that. Our current band has a pretty tight schedule because of an upcoming live, but I'll try to work something out._

_Lisa: Live at Budokan?_

_Yukina: Not yet, but it is our goal._

The last of cherry petals flew off to the late spring breeze. Lisa looked at her nicely painted nails – probably going to get chipped again when playing with Yukina and Sayo, all the while get scolded by them for losing her skills. She knew they didn't mean it though. There was music for work and music for fun, just like there were different kinds of relationships between different people. It was no longer in any single one that Lisa found all her joy. Life was better with variety – it would be terribly boring otherwise.


End file.
